Anyone who tells you that dealing with rejection and failure is an easy thing is either, to put it mildly, not doing much in life or a liar. In life, encountering rejection and failure is a sure thing, as they say, just as sure as death and taxes.
Rejection and failure will come in various stages of your life; when you were a kid, you were rejected by the football team that you wanted to be part of; when you were a teenager, the failure to get the car that you always wanted or being rejected by the girl that you had a crush; as an adult, the failure to get the job that you wanted; when you are a little older, failure because you were being passed over for promotion and so on. Well, I think you get the picture.
Through my personal experience, these are five steps that you need to go through to overcome rejection and failure.
- Acknowledge the emotions of defeat and accept the rejection
Accept that rejection and failure is part and parcel of life. For sure, you will feel sad, disappointed, embarrassed and maybe anger and resentment. Naturally, you will start questioning your abilities and the sting of rejection will take a hit at your ego and self-confidence.
At this point, you should switch your state of mind and emotions from a negative to a strong positive. Recall instances where you did encounter success and visualize yourself at that moment in time. Remember that there is no success without failure and that success is sweetest only when overcoming great obstacles and failures. Perhaps, you are not ready to get that object of your desire. Perhaps in some way, there is something better that will eventually come your way. Forgive yourself and treat yourself with Compassion.
- View the Failure as Evidence that You Are Pushing Yourself and Your Limits
Remind yourself that Failure and Rejection comes with actively and aggressively pursuing your goals and dreams. Tell yourself that only the strong and powerful personalities in history face great tests and take long bold shots to test their limits and abilities. If you have never faced rejection, it means that you are living too far inside the comfort zone and will never amount to anything in life. If you failed in getting that challenging job that you always wanted, you know for sure that you are taking risks and putting yourself out there.
- Learn from your Failures and Move On Stronger than Before
People who are mentally strong will often question themselves how they can learn from their failure and rejection. Instead of just tolerating the pain, the pain should be viewed as an opportunity for self-growth or self-improvement. With each rejection, you should feel stronger; just like a broken bone that has healed – the bone is stronger than before. Make use of rejection as an opportunity to move forward in life with more wisdom.
You should always remember that true failure is only when you stop trying and give up. A great many men and women were elevated to that position because of their success that they earned through great adversity.